The Times They Are a Changing...

Well, I could not back out now even if I wanted - which I do not - why? Because I have had my official, family sponsored, societally mandated, going away party. How was this going away party? Simply put, illuminating - it was a wonderful, warm environment - the memory of which will be prominently featured in the mosaic of my life.

Fundamentally this party wiped the film from my eyes and helped shatter any illusions I may have had regarding the enormity of the journey I'm undertaking. The self is identified primarily as it is opposed to the other, so is the individual defined and so is the culture defined. But in joining the Peace Corps I am placing myself in a situation which is the essential negation, the anti-matter, of me. This journey serves as anti-matter, in that by journeying to a culture such as that of Morocco I am leaving behind those with whom I have a shared identity - an identity which is as ephemeral as the wind without the anchors that family and friends provide. Each anchor serving to hold in place a different, interlocking, puzzle piece that collectively define who I am.

This loss of self is what scares me most.

I know that Morocco will serve to widen my definition of self. It will test me and stretch me, I will have many less anchors to rely upon, and will have to cement myself in new ways to a new reality. A new reality that will in many ways turn the reality and the culture I am leaving behind into the other. But, I know that by journeying into the other - transforming my current reality into a shadow - I will eventually shrink the "other" and grow what I think of as myself.

Or more simply put - I'll grow. Maybe even up.